“Why Can’t you just stop drinking?”

“Be sober minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 

1 Peter 5:8

“Why can’t you just stop?”, is a question I have asked Ben countless times. I have mulled this over and over in my mind seeking to understand this disease, this draw, this control of something… and last night it hit me while I was trying to go to sleep.  

Ben is an alcoholic (when one can no longer control their use of alcohol, compulsively abuse alcohol, despite its negative ramifications), maybe you struggle with pills, porn, erotic books, gambling, an eating disorder, etc.  

Well, Melody, I don’t have any of those problems… I still can’t identify with any of this! Well, I know you can identify with this…. The devil uses our weaknesses to cripple us! Satan doesn’t have to make up a new lie because we all struggle with our own issues and they just play on repeat in our minds.  

So, for Ben he (satan) uses alcohol and temptation and for me he uses insecurities and self-loathing. Are you seeing the correlation? I can’t just turn off my insecurities… and then I allow Satan to turn the negative talk in my head into belief and then what kind of headspace am I in? Not a good one!!! It’s the same for Ben!! It was such an AHA moment for me.  

I have really been trying to work on my own self-love and not allow Satan to take root in my brain. It is a part of my own recovery story. When a negative self-loathing thought comes into my head….  

I STOP. 
I repeat it.  
I ask myself. Is it true? OF COURSE NOT!!! 

You are loved. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are not annoying. You are precious. You are wanted. You have a purpose. You are worthy. You are blessed. You are important.  

Take your thoughts captive!! When we allow those thoughts to play on repeat…. we start to believe that truth.  

Thoughts become words 
Words become actions. 
Actions dictate our life 
Those actions become our present and our future.

“I can have just one drink. No one will ever know.” 
“I hate my body. No one can ever love me.” 

We know what happens to an alcoholic but what happens to us?  

We isolate ourselves 
We draw away from those we love 
Hide ourselves at home 
Depression 
Anxiety 
Drown ourselves in our kids….. they will love us no matter what. (SAFE) 

Just like Ben ended up in jail for his actions; I myself had been living in my own jail that I had created, and it all started because we never stopped our thoughts.  We cannot be who God created us to be when we are stuck living in bondage and allowing the devil to wreak havoc on our thoughts. It’s time to kick him out. It’s time to let God in so He can shine light on those dark thoughts.  

“So God created man in his own image; in the image of God He created him.” 

Genesis 1:27

He created each of us. He created Ben to be Ben and me to be me and you to be you. We are all made uniquely with a purpose in mind. Ben and I haven’t been living up to that purpose, but we are sure working hard to change that. It all starts with taking our thoughts captive. What thoughts are holding you captive? Who in your life does God want you to reach but you can’t because you’re stuck in your own head?  

Melody Kesselring